HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I can't believe it's already Halloween. But I can believe that the baby is 3 weeks old although it feels like he should be a year. A girl told me yesterday that it will all get better once he is 3 months. 3 months!!! I have 2 more months of this? I obviously have good and bad days. The bad days are when I am exhausted (I'm always tired) coupled with my stomach really hurting, like yesterday. It's almost like the numbness from the surgery is wearing off inside and now I'm really feeling the pain. The kicker is that I can't take my pain killers with 1 toddler roaming around the house. Today it hurts but it's still morning so it's hard to gage how the day will turn out. We will see.

I'm not sure the LB will enjoy Halloween this year. But he will be an awfully cute pumpkin, if I can get him to wear the costume. He's not much for dressing up. Like father, like son. I'm not either but once I am in costume (No, I'm not dressing up) I always enjoy myself more than I could ever imagine. It's the hassle of finding just the right costume, whether it be Mardi Gras, Halloween or just some random costume party.

I'm hoping that I will get back in gear, here on NolaMom on a regular basis, soon. There is just not much time. Not even to take a shower. Because what little free time I have is not worth wasting on blogging (no offense, I do respect my fans), showering or eating. Sleeping is my priority right now, even if it's only 2-4 hours a day.

The awfulness will end, right?

It's still awful. It really gets bad toward the afternoon when I am broken down from a total lack of sleep. Last night I had J do baby duty while I went to sleep from 7:30 until 9:30. I know it's totally depressing for him to come home to more work and a reheated burnt tuna noodle casserole. But BP slept like a champ last night. I know it was just a fluke but whatever.

It's the nursing that really gets to me. But atleast I am slowly fitting into nonmaternity clothes. I don't want to weigh myself quite yet because I know it will just depress me but I CANNOT wait to go shopping for cute clothes....in a year. Ha! The beauty of nursing. This time I am doing it more for me than the baby. So selfish, I know but it certainly didn't keep ear infections away from W. I nursed him for 7 months specifically for that reason and look where it got us....5 ear infections and a perforated ear drum later.

We got out yesterday. All 3 of us. I had to. We got out the door, W in his sunsuit, me in flipflops and baby in a skimpy day gown only to find it was freezing cold. So we had to pile back in the house which pissed W off and add sweaters to our ragamuffin wardrobes. We were a sight. Let me tell ya. So we made it to the coffee shop and LO AND BEHOLD there was a party going on! It was packed full of familiar faces and W was so happy to see his buddy and vice versa. Lauren said I looked like I was going to cry and she was right. It took everything I had to suck the tears back in. I don't know if it was because it was so hard just getting 3 minutes down the road or if I was overjoyed to be out and see people much less friendly faces. It was quite the welcoming. I didn't sugar coat this experience though and I must apologize to those who are pregnant or thinking of getting pregnant. It's not all horrible. There is a wonderful, sweet little baby in it for you. But anyway, it was the highlight of our day.

If I knew then what I know now.

I wish I would have known what a piece of cake it was having just the Little Buddy when he was a baby compared to now. I stressed out about every little thing and was anxious all of the time. Was he eating enough? Is he sleeping enough? Too much? Do you have a cold-don't touch him, etc. Now that the new baby is here-yes, finally, the new baby is here which is why I've been away-I long for the days of taking care of just one.

BP was born a big ole baby with a voracious appetite. While W is in the 25th percentile, BP is 95th in height, 75th in weight with humoungous feet-so the doctor says. and if I'm not model skinny by the time I'm done nursing him-I will be sorely dissapointed because I am a feeding machine.

Everyone was right, though. I love him so much. I was worried about it. I knew I would love him, but as much as W? I wasn't sure it was possible. It's different of course because I know W and love him for everything that he is. I intensely love BP but I don't quite know him yet.

The past few days have been rough. I had to have a transverse fly? Ceasarean. I'm not sure that's the correct term but I felt like I was in an episode of Grey's Anatomy and all the residents were excited to see the procedure done. I won't get into gory details but it wasn't fun and I don't think I want to do that again, at all. I finally made it home after going horribly stir crazy at Ochsner. Baptist was an overall better experience but of course I missed the LB too. Then W got sick and the help I have 2 days per week had a traumatic death in the family so J and I have been going it alone. and even though I cry daily I'm very happy. Just...so...tired. J told me more than 5 times yesterday how tired I look-that's when the reality came crashing down around us. I think the thing that really gets me emotional is W. I miss him like I've never thought possible. Yes, he is right here with us but I can't pick him up or play with him much or do all of things that I did for him or that we did together. I miss him. He seems to get it, that there is a new baby in town so he is J's constant shadow.

I'm waiting for this to become the new normal. But I'm becoming impatient. Thanks to everyone who's checked in, brought coffee, delicious casseroles and such. It's been a huge help.

Taco Tuesdays, Wednesdays or Thursdays, Anyone?

The New Baby is almost here and I've just been too preoccupied to write. It's not that I'm not thinking about y'all. I am, along with a million other things.

I just got an article about Taco Tuesday's from a friend. We've been having those alot around here (maybe not necessarily on Tuesdays) and it's a well loved tradition complete with Taco Kits and the such. When my back is not hurting I spice it up with sauteed onion and peppers, freshly grated cheddar cheese and guacamole. Otherwise I just use the Kit and ground beef which is still just as delicious. The plan was to give it up once the New Baby arrived and revert back to our healthy eating habits. It's going to be hard and now that the time is almost upon us I can't promise it will happen. There is nothing like a good ole greasy ground beef hard corn El Paso taco. It's about American as Hamburger Helper and I'm proud to be an American.

Are you tired?

I know it's a little too late but for a split second today I thought, what are we doing? Are we ready for another baby? W was up all night last night, coughing, with hives. I held him as I was propped up uncomfortably on pillows. He coughed so hard at one point that he threw up. We all finally went to sleep around 4 and we woke up at 7:15. It's wierd how you don't mind while you are in the moment. It's the time before he wakes up that I am anxious. I just had a feeling it would be one of those nights. So I wasn't sleeping well anyway. But once we were up and I was rocking him the only thing I was worried about was the LB.

While I was up holding him last night I figured I would be about 42 years old before we could possible sleep in again, both J and I. It makes me tired thinking about it. I'm tired.

Then I watched John and Kate plus 8 tonight. They have twins and sextuplets. I can't watch it anymore. I get too depressed for them. I think I'm tired?

But really, I am very happy to be having another baby. I so excited but I can't help but think I will miss the family we have now. The three of us, hanging out, being us, because we're good together. I can only pray that the four of us will be good together, too.

What's going on

1. W didn't cry when J dropped him off at school. He said he certainly wasn't happy but he wasn't crying. Now that's progress. I can't explain the euphoria I felt. Every day that he goes to school I usually call J and ask the same question. Did he cry? and of course I always expect the same answer. Yes. So today when I asked the question and got a different response I was ecstatic!!!! Yay!!!! I want to call everyone I know and tell them.

2. My cousin, Will, is deploying to Iraq as an officer in the Airbourne Division of the Army in a few days. I know he is serving his country and I have a great admiration and respect for him but it still makes me sad. Please say a prayer for him.

3. Another storm in the Gulf?!? I don't watch enough news but I happened to see a glimpse of Margaret Orr talking about it in an for the news. I was fast forwarding while watching a show so I stopped. That's all I know. I checked out the weather online and couldn't find out much more. Please, I'm asking any storm that is tempted to come this way to find another route until I have this baby. or find another route until next season so I can have this baby AND stay at home when it's a newborn just so I can know what that is like.

4. I had coffee with a dear friend. The last time I had coffee with her was when she had a newborn baby. The baby is a year old. It's crazy and I realized how much I missed her.

WHO DAT?!?

It's Black and Gold Day today and the LB was lucky enough to have just the thing to wear thanks to Uncle RaRa and Aunt JoJo.

I complain about my weight. I always have. Before W I worked hard to be fit as I was always the fattest of my friends growing up. After W I never really got back into great shape knowing in the back of my mind that I would get pregnant again and what was the point. But I kept complaining even though I was pretty normal. and now that I'm pregnant I complain about my the cellulite and the fear of it never going away. The other morning the LB patted my big ole belly indicating that he knows something is in there but he didn't stop there. He walked around me to my butt and patted that too. He must think there is something in my butt also. and by the looks of it, if I didn't know better I would think that too. Anyway, I came across this website that shows scary sights of women's bodies during and after pregnancy. The above photo being one of them. It made me feel a bit better about myself and I realized that I can always look worse, be fatter, have more extra skin etc.

False Alarm

I thought I was having the baby yesterday. It was actually perfect timing because I had a doctor's appointment, too. So I was relatively calm, relieved almost, even though I had nothing organized. When I called J to tell him his was response was,

"It's really not a good time. The tv is being installed today and I have a pretty important hearing tomorrow. But is the camera charged up?....oh, and after you charge the camera could you run to the store and get me something for dinner?"

He was joking, of course, the crazy guy that he is.

W overheard me talking about how I might not come back from the doctor's office and he became hysterical. I felt horrible. It was so sad and it hit home how much I will miss the LB while I'm away.

But the doctor said I was wrong and that I will probably make it until the scheduled day. Damn!

The teacher said W had another good day at school! but that he knows when it's time to go home and waits at the door. I am thankful that he is where he is because they have been very patient and communicative, working through the little bumps in the road. and I can see progress in his development too. He's constructing more with his legos rather than just putting a few together (seems like he's using his imagination more) and chit chatting like nobody's business.

I pulled up as they were coming out and there was my baby walking down the steps all by himself with his bookbag slung over his shoulder. AND he had a smile before it turned into an expression of deep concentration as he went down one step at a time. I got such a wierd feeling. I can't describe it but I'm not ready for him to grow up.

Gossip Girl

I'm pissed right now. I'm pissed because my back hurts and I'm tired and all I want to do was watch the new show by the creators of the O.C., Gossip Girl and I can't. The sound on channel 13 isn't working. Are you having this problem? I pushed the big chair all the way up to the tv, still couldn't hear it. I sat in front of the tv, a fingers length away, nothing. I am mad. I am tired of being pregnant, tired of my back hurting, tired of not being able to take a really hot bath to make my back stop hurting and tired of not being able to drink a bottle of wine to make the fact that I'm really mad not so bad. So here I am at the computer.

I just read a post about babies on a blog. and then I started thinking about my baby, W and then the conversation I had with two friends in the past two days about wether I am going to have a girl or a boy. I am fine to have another boy. I would love to have another boy. I love my baby boy, my son, my life. To have another one....would be the best. But a part of me wonders if I would miss having a girl? Then I think about how mean girls can be to their moms which brings me back to the conversation I had with my friend this afternoon. Boys can be mean too. All kids can when they hit the teenage years and golly, how that is going to kill me. I live my life for my sweet baby and think about him all the time, worry about him everyday, laugh when he laughs and a lot of times cry when he is sad and to think that one day he may very well scream, "I hate you" or even worse just give me the silent treatment. It makes me want to cry. W and I had a 5 minute conversation this afternoon. Not about anything. Believe me when I say that. But it was the most enjoyable 5 minutes I had all day. I can't imagine that same sweet little boy being mean to his mommy.

P.S. If it turns out you are in fact having the sound problem with the CW network, Gossip Girl will be rerun again on Sunday night. My sweet husband came up to tell me that and also that he set it to record for me. I bet he was never mean to his mom.

More on Bad Plastic Bottles

In reference to my post about plastic bottles and the havoc they can wreak in infant's reproductive system and what not, my friend, Merr sent me this article. She lives in San Francisco where 'Green' information is more readily available than it is here in N.O. She actually switched from Dr. Brown's to Born Free Bottles just to be on the safe side. I think I am just going to give in and do the same.

In the News: Crocs caught in escalators

If your kids are Croc wearers you might want to read this article that Uncle Bob sent me. They are getting stuck in escalators and ripping toenails off. Eeeewwww!

Super Parent, Not.

It was Parents' Night at W's school last night and I must say that I was pretty impressed. The goals of the program are inspiring and well thought out-not just about throwing kids on a playground and letting them go. Even though free play is an important part of their philosophy, it seems that each and every activity is well thought out and there is a point however small to each one. We went through a scavenger hunt so that we could get a feel for our little buddy's day. J was thrilled. Let me tell you. We had to paint our hands and make handprints, build blocks with another couple to teach us about teamwork and making friends and it was a bit awkward but now atleast I know another set of parents in the class. J didn't care about the making friends part and followed me around while I did all the work. I'll have to talk to him about that.

On our way out we noticed an invitation in W's cubby hole. Another mom is having a coffee for all of the parent's in his class. She seems like a super mom-she's nice and sweet and outgoing and makes an effort to meet all of the parents of her kid's classmates. I sometimes wish I were that way but like someone told me, I have other strengths. Ha! It has inspired me to push myself to want to get to know the other parents and make a more concerted effort. I'm not promising anything except that I will do my best.

I had big plans to make Halloween cookies for the class but as the date gets closer those plans are slowly falling by the wayside. I have too many other things to accomplish before the baby gets here, like sitting...and sitting...and sitting. I am scared there won't be another time that I can just...well, sit. On that note, I had a dream last night that I had a baby girl. It was quite vivid. She was so tiny and had a mess of white blond ringlets on top of her head. Wierd. Especially when you consider I have board straight hair, my mom and brother have board straight hair. It wouldn't stay curled even if I slept with a curling iron on my head for days. If this dream comes true my mom will be ecstatic. When J and I got engaged one of her first comments was that he will bring curl to the gene pool. We will just have to wait and see.

The verdict is in. 2 ear infections. I feel so bad that I didn't take him to the doctor sooner. I guess I really couldn't have unless it was the Emergency room but I knew something was not right. We were up all night. When I went to check on him around 9pm before I went to bed he was sitting straight up, dead asleep. I guess it was too painful for him to lie down. Then he was in and out of sleep all night as were J and I. I knew he was really sick when he let me bring him into our bed. That's not an option on a regular night but on the few nights that he has been sick and crying, there has only been 2 times that he actually laid down and went to sleep. and one of them was last night. He woke up around1 am and realized he was terribly uncomfortable, as we all were, in our bed and didn't have his own space. So I took him back to his bed where he finally got a little shut eye.

I feel like Tuna Tonight

I never thought that I would say this.

I made a tuna casserole for dinner.

The recipe was in that Martha Stewart's Everyday Food and well, I must be pregnant, ha! because it sounded really appetizing. J didn't even sound disgusted when I told him we were having that for dinner. Frozen veggies cooked in the same pot as noodles with a can of tuna thrown in for good measure was a bachelor staple of his. Blah! He still makes it on occasion when I have a meeting or something. So this was like ambrosia to him.

Now this was a Mediterranean Tuna Casserole which includes artichoke hearts. It was delicious if I do say so myself. I would probably doctor it up a bit if I made it again. You know, add some garlic, maybe some cheese, oh and Aunt Liz said she has fond memories of tuna casserole with peas. I wasn't sure what to expect because I have never had a tuna casserole in my life. Something ole Mimo would NEVER allow. Aunt Liz thought about making it herself once I told her what we were having for dinner but Uncle Bob, like Mimo, wouldn't allow it. Something about a bad experience as a child. I thought about giving some to W for supper but I didn't want to force it on him, and end up with an "Uncle Bob Tuna Casserole Debacle".

I had to sit down to prep everything because of my increasing back pain. Not an easy thing to do, not even with my stellar knife skills (and my knife skills are just that, seriously). But in the end it all turned out well and the BONUS: It made two casseroles. One to freeze for when the new bambino is here.

I'm blogging but I'm really tired. It happens every weekend. J gets up with the LB on Sat. mornings and I get to sleep in and then we swap. and every weekend W sleeps in on Saturdays and gets up way to early on Sundays. You'd think I would learn. I was up at 1am last night to go to the bathroom for the 80th time and never got back to sleep, until about 4am. W woke up at 5:30. I tried to reason with him to no avail. So we got up, made it down the stairs in the dark (it's really dark now at that time) and ate breakfast in the dark. J got up around 8:45 and I went back to sleep until 11am. Crazy, I know. But I'm just so tired. Not all the time. I have my moments. But when those moments come, they are big ones. Anyway, they went swimming-the last day the pool was open-I woke up at 11 and met them for lunch but by that time the LB was exhausted and cranky. I just knew he would nap forever. J was doing handyman stuff outside and W woke up after 45 min. raging hot. So I held him and rocked him for another hour (As sad as I was for him that he didn't feel well, I loved holding him, my little baby) and then he was fine. It was strange. I am praying that he will be better tomorrow. He has been fighting this cold for atleast a week now. He got better, then he got worse.

So bless the LB with a good night's sleep and a fun day tomorrow.

When I look out the window it looks like fall. It doesn't feel like fall but the sky is blue and everything looks so crisp. I know it's just wishful thinking. With fall comes the germs and colds. Of course, the LB hasn't been in school a week and he already has a cold. Luckily, the doctor told me it was okay to send him to school (which is where he got it anyway) so I didn't have to interrupt his new routine, one that we are trying to so hard to make him enjoy. I know, I've become one of those parents that I hate. The kind that sends their kid to school with a runny nose only to infect everyone else but my intentions are truly very unselfish. It's not because I have something else to do since I pick him up almost as soon as I drop him off. It's all because I want him to adjust to school. It's the worst feeling in the world to get him out in the carpool line and have him hang on to me like there's no tomorrow. I guess that does make me selfish, but...

I showed him the slideshow that the program emailed to me last week of their first 2 weeks of school. He enjoyed seeing all his new friends and he didn't even reach for the keyboard once. He was so enthralled with the show. So hopefully that helped him ease into the day today.

I was so upset after dropping him off last week that I was hyperventilating. and J is right. He has to work through it. My baby is growing up and it's our jobs to help him do that in the most productive way. Only 16 more years to go.

In the News: It's always somethin'

"Doctor Links a Man's Illness to a Microwave Popcorn Habit"

This man supposedly likes buttered flavor microwave popcorn so much that he developed a serious lung condition usually only linked to workers in popcorn plants. I mean, what's next? First baby bottles are toxic, now buttered flavor microwave popcorn.

What's going on.

I've started painting again and it's been so much fun. I always have visions in my mind of things I want to paint, lately for the new baby's room and W's but I put if off because I think about the hassle involved-buying more acrylics, canvases, getting the water and brushes ready and the mess of it all-but it's like anything else I do. Once I jump into it and get rolling I have the best time. I had to take a lot of studio classes in college for my major and really do miss it. I will say that it is kind of difficult to paint anything larger than a small canvas if you don't have an easel and your belly is a month away from popping out a person.

The Hobby Shop on Magazine is having a sale on a certain brand of canvases (only smallish ones so I didn't get a deal on my 30x40). I wanted to paint a big ole giraffe for the nursery so I painted a 'dry run' which I will hang in W's room before I move on to the super big one. Today is the day. I've painted the background and am waiting for it to dry. I'm still not sure how I'm going to keep W away from it until I can paint my giraffe.

The LB and J are off swimming. I think this may be one of the last weekends before the pool closes. I feel bad for not taking him more often myself, but I haven't been brave enough to stuff myself into a bathing suit and it's too hot to sit out there without getting in. I want him to be ready for pool time next summer because I WILL be skinny and hot and ready to spend long days at the pool. So I'm encouraging father and son to take lessons this fall at Love Swimming.

Wish I would have invented Jibbitz

I watched a DVR of Oprah on Thursday evening and oh my gosh. It was a show on Big Ideas and it blew my mind away. This lady and her kids came up with the idea of Jibbitz, which are little doodads that you decorate your Crocs with. Amazing. Eventually the Croc company bought them out for $20 million.

I know I'm destined for something big. I feel it. It's going to happen after I have this baby and I have time to do something big, but it's coming. I promise. If it's anything as big as this Jibbitz idea-we've got it made. Now, the couple that started the Jibbitz, like I said, sold out to Crocs but they are still running the company. When something "big" comes my way and if I decide to sell out, I'm not hanging around to run the thing. I'm running with my money like there's no tomorrow.

If you need a little inspiration in your life, read their story.