Wednesday, March 16, 2011

My Baby

I took the boys to the dentist last week. She told me that I needed to stop giving Pman his bottle. He's 3. She said, "I know he's your baby but......." I never considered that I was not letting go of "my baby", until I heard those words.

When W was 2 I sent him to "school" for the first time. Half a day, 3 days a week. I cried in the classroom, sobbed outside of the school gate and hyperventilated all the way home. I felt guilty for the whole year. Alternately, before Master P was even 2 I kicked him out of the house to go to "school" with a smile on my face. I love you, P. I have been thinking about her words a lot and have come to the conclusion that maybe I am holding on to my sweet and adorable baby and subconsciously wishing he would stay that way. I mean, we still give him a bottle. We still let him have his pacifiers in bed, and his "white bed" is a crib.

(When I say "we", I mean '"me. J would have taken away all of that a year ago despite the major meltdowns we would have to endure forever).

He's really not a baby. Out of the blue at dinner tonight he looked across the table at me, smiled, batted his eyelashes and said, "I love you, Mommy."
"I love you too", my heart melted.
"I want to sleep with you tonight!"
"No", without hesitation. We don't do that in this house, never have.

But is that manipulation at its best, or what? He didn't seem like a baby then.

and then on the way to take a shower he asked me if he could "take off my underwear."

If you are speechless so was I!!!!! I didn't say no. I said HELL, NO! And what baby would ask that kind of question? I mean, really. (before you go thinking my child is a perv let me explain that he is really into dressing and undressing himself these days. I think he figured since he has it down pat, he would help me.)

So, obviously I am starting to rethink the bottle and the pacifier and the crib and even more obviously, undressing in front of him because he isn't a baby anymore. But he will always be my baby, right?

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