I wish I would have known what a piece of cake it was having just the Little Buddy when he was a baby compared to now. I stressed out about every little thing and was anxious all of the time. Was he eating enough? Is he sleeping enough? Too much? Do you have a cold-don't touch him, etc. Now that the new baby is here-yes, finally, the new baby is here which is why I've been away-I long for the days of taking care of just one.
BP was born a big ole baby with a voracious appetite. While W is in the 25th percentile, BP is 95th in height, 75th in weight with humoungous feet-so the doctor says. and if I'm not model skinny by the time I'm done nursing him-I will be sorely dissapointed because I am a feeding machine.
Everyone was right, though. I love him so much. I was worried about it. I knew I would love him, but as much as W? I wasn't sure it was possible. It's different of course because I know W and love him for everything that he is. I intensely love BP but I don't quite know him yet.
The past few days have been rough. I had to have a transverse fly? Ceasarean. I'm not sure that's the correct term but I felt like I was in an episode of Grey's Anatomy and all the residents were excited to see the procedure done. I won't get into gory details but it wasn't fun and I don't think I want to do that again, at all. I finally made it home after going horribly stir crazy at Ochsner. Baptist was an overall better experience but of course I missed the LB too. Then W got sick and the help I have 2 days per week had a traumatic death in the family so J and I have been going it alone. and even though I cry daily I'm very happy. Just...so...tired. J told me more than 5 times yesterday how tired I look-that's when the reality came crashing down around us. I think the thing that really gets me emotional is W. I miss him like I've never thought possible. Yes, he is right here with us but I can't pick him up or play with him much or do all of things that I did for him or that we did together. I miss him. He seems to get it, that there is a new baby in town so he is J's constant shadow.
I'm waiting for this to become the new normal. But I'm becoming impatient. Thanks to everyone who's checked in, brought coffee, delicious casseroles and such. It's been a huge help.