Monday, October 01, 2007

Are you tired?

I know it's a little too late but for a split second today I thought, what are we doing? Are we ready for another baby? W was up all night last night, coughing, with hives. I held him as I was propped up uncomfortably on pillows. He coughed so hard at one point that he threw up. We all finally went to sleep around 4 and we woke up at 7:15. It's wierd how you don't mind while you are in the moment. It's the time before he wakes up that I am anxious. I just had a feeling it would be one of those nights. So I wasn't sleeping well anyway. But once we were up and I was rocking him the only thing I was worried about was the LB.

While I was up holding him last night I figured I would be about 42 years old before we could possible sleep in again, both J and I. It makes me tired thinking about it. I'm tired.

Then I watched John and Kate plus 8 tonight. They have twins and sextuplets. I can't watch it anymore. I get too depressed for them. I think I'm tired?

But really, I am very happy to be having another baby. I so excited but I can't help but think I will miss the family we have now. The three of us, hanging out, being us, because we're good together. I can only pray that the four of us will be good together, too.

1 comment: said...

I had that same pang of loss--scared of losing what I already had--just before my baby arrived. I guess it's just normal to have anxiety over "rocking the boat." Once Baby is here, you'll know it was always meant to be.