Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Prep on Bravo
I am intrigued by Prep. It is Bravo's new reality series about a group of highschool kids on the upper eastside-a la Gossip Girl. Join me in watching the premier so we may discuss.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Potty training for boys
I hate to keep talking about W's bodily functions but I am at the end of my rope. He. will. not. poo. in. the. potty. I have gotten advice from everyone-from feign indifference, to put him in time out, to telling him it's just not acceptable and nothing works. Whatever you are thinking, I have tried it. Up to yesterday, I don't think I had tried everything until I had lunch with my old friend. She has three boys so I know she knows her stuff not to mention the fact that her middle son is 2 1/2 and potty trained. Completely crazy, I know. Anyway, she told me about her friend who's son was 4 1/2 and still not pooping in the potty. This friend finally got to the point where I am, soooo tired of cleaning it up and said, "Fine. You can poo in your pants but you are going to clean it up." and proceeded to put him in an empty bathtub with wipes and told him to go for.
I thought it was brilliant. I did it this morning. I gave him a box of wipes and a trashcan and shut the door. A few minutes later I went to check on him expecting to hear him crying. I was wrong. If he knew how to whistle, he would have been whistling a tune. There he was wiping his hiney with 80 wipes all of which he was setting every so gingerly on the side of the tub. Only when it came time to dump the poop did he ever show any kind of disgust. "It's yucky," he said. and that was it.
We went about our day. We went swimming at the pool and went to have a late afternoon coffee and cookie. We ran into a family friend (my parents age) who took him to the bookstore and bought him a book. He had a ball with his friend and was in great spirits. and then it was time to go and I realized that he had a deuce while in the bookstore with this friend. Golly, I hope she didn't notice.
We got home and we went through the same drill as in the morning. This time I heard him singing. I kid you not. I think he's starting to enjoy this new system and the alone time that comes with it. So all I can say is, and I am sorry for cursing, but SH--!
I thought it was brilliant. I did it this morning. I gave him a box of wipes and a trashcan and shut the door. A few minutes later I went to check on him expecting to hear him crying. I was wrong. If he knew how to whistle, he would have been whistling a tune. There he was wiping his hiney with 80 wipes all of which he was setting every so gingerly on the side of the tub. Only when it came time to dump the poop did he ever show any kind of disgust. "It's yucky," he said. and that was it.
We went about our day. We went swimming at the pool and went to have a late afternoon coffee and cookie. We ran into a family friend (my parents age) who took him to the bookstore and bought him a book. He had a ball with his friend and was in great spirits. and then it was time to go and I realized that he had a deuce while in the bookstore with this friend. Golly, I hope she didn't notice.
We got home and we went through the same drill as in the morning. This time I heard him singing. I kid you not. I think he's starting to enjoy this new system and the alone time that comes with it. So all I can say is, and I am sorry for cursing, but SH--!
Monday, June 15, 2009
I don't have much time. Well, I do but I am in the middle of The Help
and cannot put it down for more than a few minutes while the kids are napping. So here is a synopsis of our weekend:
W had 104 degree temp Friday.
Picked up Superior Grill for supper and icy Margaritas, of course.
Watched He's just not that into you.
Fever broke Friday night.
Boys played in the little pool Saturday while we did yard work. I for once, made a weekend lunch at home. Turkey paninis.
Went for a good run.
Had an extremely satisfying meal at Rambla that night with friends.
Drank a nightcap when we got home with J.
Worked our really hard Sunday morning while the boys played in the pool.
We picked up Stein's deli (Fernando for me-mozzarella, prosciutto, pesto on Ciabatta for me, Turkey panini for J)
Champagne Sunday afternoon
Cooked disastrous pot stickers but succeeded at making a restaurant quality Orange Beef and Broccoli after watching it on Everyday Food.
and now I can get back to The Help!
and cannot put it down for more than a few minutes while the kids are napping. So here is a synopsis of our weekend:
W had 104 degree temp Friday.
Picked up Superior Grill for supper and icy Margaritas, of course.
Watched He's just not that into you.
Fever broke Friday night.
Boys played in the little pool Saturday while we did yard work. I for once, made a weekend lunch at home. Turkey paninis.
Went for a good run.
Had an extremely satisfying meal at Rambla that night with friends.
Drank a nightcap when we got home with J.
Worked our really hard Sunday morning while the boys played in the pool.
We picked up Stein's deli (Fernando for me-mozzarella, prosciutto, pesto on Ciabatta for me, Turkey panini for J)
Champagne Sunday afternoon
Cooked disastrous pot stickers but succeeded at making a restaurant quality Orange Beef and Broccoli after watching it on Everyday Food.
and now I can get back to The Help!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Full proof diet
I have found a foolproof diet for those willing to go to extremes. I had a root canal yesterday. and it will be 15 days until I get my crown. I can't eat on one side of my mouth until that happens.
It wasn't a fun experience. The doctor had to give 4 shots before I was finally pain free with her drilling way down into my tooth. Fun, I tell ya. But it's over and done. I can stop taking my antibiotics which to me means I can have that long awaited glass of wine but there is always a tradeoff. I can't really eat all that well and it will be 15 long days until I can truly enjoy my food again. The worst part is that we are going to J's college reunion where we were planning to eat the infamous EBA Chicken Sandwhich. I have heard about this freaking sandwich since I met him. and now, well, it will be a challenge to chomp down on a big ole sandwhich and still avoid the right side of my mouth. Needless to say, J is upset. But after only 3 meals, I am already feeling pretty darn skinny. Maybe Hot NOLAMom will appear this summer afterall!
It wasn't a fun experience. The doctor had to give 4 shots before I was finally pain free with her drilling way down into my tooth. Fun, I tell ya. But it's over and done. I can stop taking my antibiotics which to me means I can have that long awaited glass of wine but there is always a tradeoff. I can't really eat all that well and it will be 15 long days until I can truly enjoy my food again. The worst part is that we are going to J's college reunion where we were planning to eat the infamous EBA Chicken Sandwhich. I have heard about this freaking sandwich since I met him. and now, well, it will be a challenge to chomp down on a big ole sandwhich and still avoid the right side of my mouth. Needless to say, J is upset. But after only 3 meals, I am already feeling pretty darn skinny. Maybe Hot NOLAMom will appear this summer afterall!
It's summer. Our days are supposed to be footloose and fancy free. You can say goodbye to colds and flus and ear infections. You can spend your days at the pool, splashing and whoopin' it up. Tiring your kids out for an early bedtime. You can do all of this unless you are us.
We have spent a total of 3 days at the 2 week session of camp. After W's head finally healed we came down with a "touch of bronchitis" and an ear infection. So here we sit, housebound again. With Pman running loose around the house. I hope your days are filled with snoballs and water and laughter and watermelon because ours sure aren't. :)
We have spent a total of 3 days at the 2 week session of camp. After W's head finally healed we came down with a "touch of bronchitis" and an ear infection. So here we sit, housebound again. With Pman running loose around the house. I hope your days are filled with snoballs and water and laughter and watermelon because ours sure aren't. :)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
The Homemade Life
I was searching for photos of slow roasted tomatoes. I made them last night using Molly Wizenberg's recipe from her book,
and it seems that I am the last one either have read the book or to try this recipe. It's an old hat recipe around the food blog world it seems but since I am not a food blog I don't feel like such a loser.
This is the basic recipe:
about 29 Roma tomatoes
1 tablespoon olive oil
Salt
Ground coriander
Preheat the oven to 200 degrees. Wash and dry tomatoes, trim away the stem end, and halve them lengthwise. Place them in a large bowl, and , using your hands, toss them gently with the oil. Arrange them cut side up on a large baking sheet. Sprinkle with salt and ground coriander, about a pinch of each for every 4 to 6 tomato halves. Bake until the tomatoes crinkle at the edges and shrink to about half of their original size, 4 to 6 hours. Remove from the oven and set aside to cool to room temperature. You can store them for up to a week in an airtight container in the refrigerator.
Now. didn't use coriander because I didn't want that in my pasta sauce and I kind of wung it with the oil and salt but they turned out great and my house smelled like a fresh summer.
The first few chapters of the book really bummed me out because many of the recipes did not appeal to me but all of a sudden-BOOM!-I couldn't get enough and I found myself bookmarking every recipe. I have tried now two of her recipes. The cherry and goat cheese salad and the slow roasted tomatoes. and both times I was frazzled but having fun. When I only had W, planning dinner kept me sane. I would plan our meal and then J would come home and he and the Little Buddy would hang out in the kitchen while I cooked. It's a bit harder since the Holy Terror has come along but I have tried to find new things that inspire me to cook and I have to say that The Homemade Life has done just that.
Now, the slow roasted tomatoes are delicious. and I should have just eaten them as they were with some fresh mozzarella, basil and a baguette but I got a wild hair and pureed them with olive oil, garlic, basil and pasta water to make a sauce. It was tangy and delicious but the consistency of the sauce would have lent itself better to a sandwich smear. So although she the author gives suggestions about doing different things with them, if I were you I would use them as is.
and it seems that I am the last one either have read the book or to try this recipe. It's an old hat recipe around the food blog world it seems but since I am not a food blog I don't feel like such a loser.
This is the basic recipe:
about 29 Roma tomatoes
1 tablespoon olive oil
Salt
Ground coriander
Preheat the oven to 200 degrees. Wash and dry tomatoes, trim away the stem end, and halve them lengthwise. Place them in a large bowl, and , using your hands, toss them gently with the oil. Arrange them cut side up on a large baking sheet. Sprinkle with salt and ground coriander, about a pinch of each for every 4 to 6 tomato halves. Bake until the tomatoes crinkle at the edges and shrink to about half of their original size, 4 to 6 hours. Remove from the oven and set aside to cool to room temperature. You can store them for up to a week in an airtight container in the refrigerator.
Now. didn't use coriander because I didn't want that in my pasta sauce and I kind of wung it with the oil and salt but they turned out great and my house smelled like a fresh summer.
The first few chapters of the book really bummed me out because many of the recipes did not appeal to me but all of a sudden-BOOM!-I couldn't get enough and I found myself bookmarking every recipe. I have tried now two of her recipes. The cherry and goat cheese salad and the slow roasted tomatoes. and both times I was frazzled but having fun. When I only had W, planning dinner kept me sane. I would plan our meal and then J would come home and he and the Little Buddy would hang out in the kitchen while I cooked. It's a bit harder since the Holy Terror has come along but I have tried to find new things that inspire me to cook and I have to say that The Homemade Life has done just that.
Now, the slow roasted tomatoes are delicious. and I should have just eaten them as they were with some fresh mozzarella, basil and a baguette but I got a wild hair and pureed them with olive oil, garlic, basil and pasta water to make a sauce. It was tangy and delicious but the consistency of the sauce would have lent itself better to a sandwich smear. So although she the author gives suggestions about doing different things with them, if I were you I would use them as is.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Why?
I am going crazy. Today is the first day that W has stayed all day at school. I thought I would relish the fact that Pman is taking a nap early and I would have 2 hours to myself. The first 2 hours in a long long time. But I was wrong. It is killing me. Since 1 o'clock I have been counting down the minutes before I can go get my baby. I am sure he is doing fine. I haven't had a phone call to tell me differently but he's still so little and it's such a long time for him to be away. and to take a nap there! ugh! I keep thinking of him laying on the floor with a worried little look on his face and thinking to himself, "Why did she do this to me?" and I am thinking the same thing to myself. Why did I do that to him?
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Disney's Up
I've loved tv since I can remember. I would watch in a total trance and although I am easily distracted from anything else, I never was when I was watching tv. It drove my parents mad. I remember the time they locked the armoire that held the tv so I couldn't watch The Brady Bunch. I was furious and just looking back on it I get kind of peeoed. It's not like today where they run rerun after rerun. It came on once a day. I don't see what the big deal was. Eventually they moved all of the comfy furniture from the tv room/sunporch so that it would deter us from watching the "boob tube" as they called it. It didn't.
W was a late watching kid. I don't think he started watching it with interest until he was about 2 and a half but now....I see myself heading down the same path as my parents but I am not there yet. I still get a kick out of him when he giggles at Elmo and eats pancakes because Caillou does. He only watches PBS and he has seen one movie, The Jungle Book, that he gets to watch on special occasions. Until today. He saw his first movie on the big screen. Disney's Up. I truly think he was more excited about the escalator ride, the super sized bag of M&M's and the commercial then he was the about the movie. He watched the whole thing with interes though. I do want to thank all of those people who told me they took their children to see it but failed to tell me it was a bit scary for a 3 year old. He doesn't seem disturbed yet but he does seem concerned about our house "blowing away" and then "breaking". I am hoping that he didn't quite get that the man's childhood sweetheart died and that he complete and utter fear of dogs doesn't linger any longer than need be because of the angry, scary killer dogs in the movie.
We still had a great time and it was a good movie overall and I can add it to the list of W's firsts.
W was a late watching kid. I don't think he started watching it with interest until he was about 2 and a half but now....I see myself heading down the same path as my parents but I am not there yet. I still get a kick out of him when he giggles at Elmo and eats pancakes because Caillou does. He only watches PBS and he has seen one movie, The Jungle Book, that he gets to watch on special occasions. Until today. He saw his first movie on the big screen. Disney's Up. I truly think he was more excited about the escalator ride, the super sized bag of M&M's and the commercial then he was the about the movie. He watched the whole thing with interes though. I do want to thank all of those people who told me they took their children to see it but failed to tell me it was a bit scary for a 3 year old. He doesn't seem disturbed yet but he does seem concerned about our house "blowing away" and then "breaking". I am hoping that he didn't quite get that the man's childhood sweetheart died and that he complete and utter fear of dogs doesn't linger any longer than need be because of the angry, scary killer dogs in the movie.
We still had a great time and it was a good movie overall and I can add it to the list of W's firsts.
Friday, June 05, 2009
Potty training regression
Today is the last weekday before W gets to start camp after his head bobo, hopefully. and I can breathe a sigh of relief. I am already halfway through the day! I feel like a very bad mother breathing the sigh of relief especially when I see other moms all giggles and smiles at the little play center that we frequent. I find it really hard when I have to plan a whole week of entertainment for 2 little buddies. In addition to the difficulty in finding fun things to do, they can't involve water because of his cut. I don't know if it's just me or not but I get very anxious just thinking about it and I have to take baby steps through each day. For the most part I think I was happy and fun this week but I have definitely have had trying moments and for those I feel bad.
Pman is such a ball of energy and W and I are having some regression potty issues. I think that may be due to a change of his schedule and him feeling out of control. So the potty is the only way he can take hold of his little world. I received some good advice today from a licensed professional and I am feeling a little bit more in control of my emotions.
She said the same thing our pediatrician said the first go around-to feign indifference. I just needed a simple reminder.
J finished up some work stuff that was weighing on him and I have finished my long week so those are both reasons for a major celebration. We had a semi-party last night. We got a babysitter and went to dinner and then for a delicious blueberry mojito afterwards. A great start to a fun weekend and lots of celebrating!
Pman is such a ball of energy and W and I are having some regression potty issues. I think that may be due to a change of his schedule and him feeling out of control. So the potty is the only way he can take hold of his little world. I received some good advice today from a licensed professional and I am feeling a little bit more in control of my emotions.
She said the same thing our pediatrician said the first go around-to feign indifference. I just needed a simple reminder.
J finished up some work stuff that was weighing on him and I have finished my long week so those are both reasons for a major celebration. We had a semi-party last night. We got a babysitter and went to dinner and then for a delicious blueberry mojito afterwards. A great start to a fun weekend and lots of celebrating!
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
What I had for breakfast.
This morning for breakfast I had
a piece of turkey
a slice of birthday cake
some grapes
pizza
and by the time we got to the cupcakes I was full.
If you didn't know, it's not W anymore. It's Chef W and that is what he gave me for breakfast. He loves to "cook" and more than anything "cooking" food for the rest of us. It really is quite adorable.
I am not sure where this new fascination came from. Maybe a Curious George episode but however it has come about it is a fabulous new stage. Last night he helped me cook pancakes for supper. (Pancakes for supper?! Yes, it's the first time he has ever had them and I get giddy when he tries a new food). He poured the ingredients in the bowl, helped me stir and ladled the batter into the pan and did a great job. Every morning he helps me make my iced coffee and is so proud of the final product. This afternoon I opened my new Giada's Kitchen: New Italian Favorites
and found the chapter on meals to make with kids. He will be so excited. Next thing you know he will be cooking AND eating orrichiette with mini turkey meatballs!
a piece of turkey
a slice of birthday cake
some grapes
pizza
and by the time we got to the cupcakes I was full.
If you didn't know, it's not W anymore. It's Chef W and that is what he gave me for breakfast. He loves to "cook" and more than anything "cooking" food for the rest of us. It really is quite adorable.
I am not sure where this new fascination came from. Maybe a Curious George episode but however it has come about it is a fabulous new stage. Last night he helped me cook pancakes for supper. (Pancakes for supper?! Yes, it's the first time he has ever had them and I get giddy when he tries a new food). He poured the ingredients in the bowl, helped me stir and ladled the batter into the pan and did a great job. Every morning he helps me make my iced coffee and is so proud of the final product. This afternoon I opened my new Giada's Kitchen: New Italian Favorites
and found the chapter on meals to make with kids. He will be so excited. Next thing you know he will be cooking AND eating orrichiette with mini turkey meatballs!
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Memorial Day weekend
I was excited for Memorial Day weekend. With Holy Terror (HT) I mean Pman over here I was getting burned out and was really ready for a break-meaning 3 more helping hands. Pman loves Papa so I knew that would at least free me up a bit. You don't even know. Papa couldn't scratch his butt without Pman right there and although I know how exhausting that can be I was glad that it wasn't me for once.
We went up to the North Carolina mountains to visit Mimi and Papa. and like the mountains, overall it was a beautiful trip but we definitely had our ups and downs.
We left Friday morning on our big Road Trip with TV hooked up, snacks in the front and changes of clothes easily accessible. That was good thinking because Pman started vomiting about 2 hours into the drive and didn't stop the whole 12 hour drive. Turns out the poor little guy is prone to car sickness. Like W said, it was "gross".
But the minute we arrived he was so happy to see my parents that he forgot all about it. The boys slept in the same room and had quite a ball, albeit very little sleep. We went to the waterfall to take an annual photo and to the Inn for tea and cookies on the golf cart. The boys swung with Papa out on the back porch. I think that was one of the highlights. See for yourself.
They have an unbelievable playground and as always went several times to our favorite hangout for lunch.
The down side was that it rained every darn day so all of our adventures were in the rain. But it was fine. The boys got drenched down at the lake and got to to feed the donkeys. The plan was to ride in the cart behind them but it was too slippery. Too much liability worries goin' on these days. W is not much for animals, if you weren't aware but he did pet one of 'em if you want to call it that.
Mimi bought a big wheel for W last summer. He is really not an avid cyclist. He likes to sit on them but he never really moves. We are trying to encourage more activity to pump some energy into our lax little boy so we took him out to the driveway to practice his pedaling.
Bad idea.
Why, you ask? Well, at first he was having a great time. Pedalling down the gradual incline of the driveway until we moved him up to the bigger hill and CRASH! I was inside putting HT down at the time. I knew when I heard my dad's voice calling my name, something was wrong. I turn to see J running into the house holding a crying W and blood pouring down his face. It was awful. Everything turned out fine. We went to the ER (a fabulously pleasant experience. I have to say glad it was there and not here) and they cleaned the cut and glued it shut.
2 days later he busted it open and the whole scenario played out again at the ER. Minus the voluminous amounts of blood. so he got a layer of steri strips on top of the glue and we are good to go. Until the Sunday after we got home and it started bleeding. Back to the doctor, more steri strips and now I sometimes wonder what is under it all.
So like I said, it rained and rained and rained. We wanted to leave Wednesday b/c it was raining so much and it was starting to get depressing. But Tuesday afternoon it was so beautiful. It was cool and sunny for the first time since we had been there. So we packed up the kids in the golf cart, got our to-go cups of wine and went to check out the mountains and the sunset and were so giddy that we decided to stay to enjoy the sunny Wednesday that was only a night away.
We woke up to pouring rain. Go figure.
OH! and we went to a party on Sunday night where I spied a has-been celebrity going by another name. I wanted to say something to her along the lines of "you are a has-been celebrity and no one at this mountain town party is going to harass you for a signature or anything so enough with the fake name" but true to my kind nature, ha!, I didn't.
We got dramamine for Pman on the way home which worked like a charm. Why didn't I think of it myself? and did you know that it was originally developed to help with morning sickness in pregnant women. This J tells me after 2 long nauseous pregnancies.
Anway, like I said, we had our ups and downs and it hadn't rained like that in NC since I was a kid. J jokingly chalks it up to globing warming but it didn't stop the fun. So that's all she wrote! and I'll be back tomorrow.
We went up to the North Carolina mountains to visit Mimi and Papa. and like the mountains, overall it was a beautiful trip but we definitely had our ups and downs.
We left Friday morning on our big Road Trip with TV hooked up, snacks in the front and changes of clothes easily accessible. That was good thinking because Pman started vomiting about 2 hours into the drive and didn't stop the whole 12 hour drive. Turns out the poor little guy is prone to car sickness. Like W said, it was "gross".
But the minute we arrived he was so happy to see my parents that he forgot all about it. The boys slept in the same room and had quite a ball, albeit very little sleep. We went to the waterfall to take an annual photo and to the Inn for tea and cookies on the golf cart. The boys swung with Papa out on the back porch. I think that was one of the highlights. See for yourself.
They have an unbelievable playground and as always went several times to our favorite hangout for lunch.
The down side was that it rained every darn day so all of our adventures were in the rain. But it was fine. The boys got drenched down at the lake and got to to feed the donkeys. The plan was to ride in the cart behind them but it was too slippery. Too much liability worries goin' on these days. W is not much for animals, if you weren't aware but he did pet one of 'em if you want to call it that.
Mimi bought a big wheel for W last summer. He is really not an avid cyclist. He likes to sit on them but he never really moves. We are trying to encourage more activity to pump some energy into our lax little boy so we took him out to the driveway to practice his pedaling.
Bad idea.
Why, you ask? Well, at first he was having a great time. Pedalling down the gradual incline of the driveway until we moved him up to the bigger hill and CRASH! I was inside putting HT down at the time. I knew when I heard my dad's voice calling my name, something was wrong. I turn to see J running into the house holding a crying W and blood pouring down his face. It was awful. Everything turned out fine. We went to the ER (a fabulously pleasant experience. I have to say glad it was there and not here) and they cleaned the cut and glued it shut.
2 days later he busted it open and the whole scenario played out again at the ER. Minus the voluminous amounts of blood. so he got a layer of steri strips on top of the glue and we are good to go. Until the Sunday after we got home and it started bleeding. Back to the doctor, more steri strips and now I sometimes wonder what is under it all.
So like I said, it rained and rained and rained. We wanted to leave Wednesday b/c it was raining so much and it was starting to get depressing. But Tuesday afternoon it was so beautiful. It was cool and sunny for the first time since we had been there. So we packed up the kids in the golf cart, got our to-go cups of wine and went to check out the mountains and the sunset and were so giddy that we decided to stay to enjoy the sunny Wednesday that was only a night away.
We woke up to pouring rain. Go figure.
OH! and we went to a party on Sunday night where I spied a has-been celebrity going by another name. I wanted to say something to her along the lines of "you are a has-been celebrity and no one at this mountain town party is going to harass you for a signature or anything so enough with the fake name" but true to my kind nature, ha!, I didn't.
We got dramamine for Pman on the way home which worked like a charm. Why didn't I think of it myself? and did you know that it was originally developed to help with morning sickness in pregnant women. This J tells me after 2 long nauseous pregnancies.
Anway, like I said, we had our ups and downs and it hadn't rained like that in NC since I was a kid. J jokingly chalks it up to globing warming but it didn't stop the fun. So that's all she wrote! and I'll be back tomorrow.
Monday, June 01, 2009
I have a parenting dilemma and I just need to vent. I am not sure there is a solution and I certainly haven't found one. Pman is quite the fireball. When he is happy, he is really really happy. and when he is mad he is pissed. Today we went to the Children's museum and he bit me. His shoe had fallen off and he was too busy to let me put it back on. So he bit me. It didn't hurt but that is besides the point. I just ignored him and struggled with him to get his shoe on. He also has been hitting me. Golly, he sounds like a holy terror doesn't he? I am so not used to this kind of behavior. W was a dream. Of course, he had his tantrums every now and then but he was a pretty even keeled baby and toddler. So this is a whole new road for me. He hits when he is a. not getting attention or b. when he is so angry he doesn't know what else to do. But darn it all, it hurts. I certainly don't want the stigma of my kid being "the biter" once he starts school but I have a feeling it can't be avoided.
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