What's going on

1. W didn't cry when J dropped him off at school. He said he certainly wasn't happy but he wasn't crying. Now that's progress. I can't explain the euphoria I felt. Every day that he goes to school I usually call J and ask the same question. Did he cry? and of course I always expect the same answer. Yes. So today when I asked the question and got a different response I was ecstatic!!!! Yay!!!! I want to call everyone I know and tell them.

2. My cousin, Will, is deploying to Iraq as an officer in the Airbourne Division of the Army in a few days. I know he is serving his country and I have a great admiration and respect for him but it still makes me sad. Please say a prayer for him.

3. Another storm in the Gulf?!? I don't watch enough news but I happened to see a glimpse of Margaret Orr talking about it in an for the news. I was fast forwarding while watching a show so I stopped. That's all I know. I checked out the weather online and couldn't find out much more. Please, I'm asking any storm that is tempted to come this way to find another route until I have this baby. or find another route until next season so I can have this baby AND stay at home when it's a newborn just so I can know what that is like.

4. I had coffee with a dear friend. The last time I had coffee with her was when she had a newborn baby. The baby is a year old. It's crazy and I realized how much I missed her.

WHO DAT?!?

It's Black and Gold Day today and the LB was lucky enough to have just the thing to wear thanks to Uncle RaRa and Aunt JoJo.

I complain about my weight. I always have. Before W I worked hard to be fit as I was always the fattest of my friends growing up. After W I never really got back into great shape knowing in the back of my mind that I would get pregnant again and what was the point. But I kept complaining even though I was pretty normal. and now that I'm pregnant I complain about my the cellulite and the fear of it never going away. The other morning the LB patted my big ole belly indicating that he knows something is in there but he didn't stop there. He walked around me to my butt and patted that too. He must think there is something in my butt also. and by the looks of it, if I didn't know better I would think that too. Anyway, I came across this website that shows scary sights of women's bodies during and after pregnancy. The above photo being one of them. It made me feel a bit better about myself and I realized that I can always look worse, be fatter, have more extra skin etc.

False Alarm

I thought I was having the baby yesterday. It was actually perfect timing because I had a doctor's appointment, too. So I was relatively calm, relieved almost, even though I had nothing organized. When I called J to tell him his was response was,

"It's really not a good time. The tv is being installed today and I have a pretty important hearing tomorrow. But is the camera charged up?....oh, and after you charge the camera could you run to the store and get me something for dinner?"

He was joking, of course, the crazy guy that he is.

W overheard me talking about how I might not come back from the doctor's office and he became hysterical. I felt horrible. It was so sad and it hit home how much I will miss the LB while I'm away.

But the doctor said I was wrong and that I will probably make it until the scheduled day. Damn!

The teacher said W had another good day at school! but that he knows when it's time to go home and waits at the door. I am thankful that he is where he is because they have been very patient and communicative, working through the little bumps in the road. and I can see progress in his development too. He's constructing more with his legos rather than just putting a few together (seems like he's using his imagination more) and chit chatting like nobody's business.

I pulled up as they were coming out and there was my baby walking down the steps all by himself with his bookbag slung over his shoulder. AND he had a smile before it turned into an expression of deep concentration as he went down one step at a time. I got such a wierd feeling. I can't describe it but I'm not ready for him to grow up.

Gossip Girl

I'm pissed right now. I'm pissed because my back hurts and I'm tired and all I want to do was watch the new show by the creators of the O.C., Gossip Girl and I can't. The sound on channel 13 isn't working. Are you having this problem? I pushed the big chair all the way up to the tv, still couldn't hear it. I sat in front of the tv, a fingers length away, nothing. I am mad. I am tired of being pregnant, tired of my back hurting, tired of not being able to take a really hot bath to make my back stop hurting and tired of not being able to drink a bottle of wine to make the fact that I'm really mad not so bad. So here I am at the computer.

I just read a post about babies on a blog. and then I started thinking about my baby, W and then the conversation I had with two friends in the past two days about wether I am going to have a girl or a boy. I am fine to have another boy. I would love to have another boy. I love my baby boy, my son, my life. To have another one....would be the best. But a part of me wonders if I would miss having a girl? Then I think about how mean girls can be to their moms which brings me back to the conversation I had with my friend this afternoon. Boys can be mean too. All kids can when they hit the teenage years and golly, how that is going to kill me. I live my life for my sweet baby and think about him all the time, worry about him everyday, laugh when he laughs and a lot of times cry when he is sad and to think that one day he may very well scream, "I hate you" or even worse just give me the silent treatment. It makes me want to cry. W and I had a 5 minute conversation this afternoon. Not about anything. Believe me when I say that. But it was the most enjoyable 5 minutes I had all day. I can't imagine that same sweet little boy being mean to his mommy.

P.S. If it turns out you are in fact having the sound problem with the CW network, Gossip Girl will be rerun again on Sunday night. My sweet husband came up to tell me that and also that he set it to record for me. I bet he was never mean to his mom.

More on Bad Plastic Bottles

In reference to my post about plastic bottles and the havoc they can wreak in infant's reproductive system and what not, my friend, Merr sent me this article. She lives in San Francisco where 'Green' information is more readily available than it is here in N.O. She actually switched from Dr. Brown's to Born Free Bottles just to be on the safe side. I think I am just going to give in and do the same.

In the News: Crocs caught in escalators

If your kids are Croc wearers you might want to read this article that Uncle Bob sent me. They are getting stuck in escalators and ripping toenails off. Eeeewwww!

Super Parent, Not.

It was Parents' Night at W's school last night and I must say that I was pretty impressed. The goals of the program are inspiring and well thought out-not just about throwing kids on a playground and letting them go. Even though free play is an important part of their philosophy, it seems that each and every activity is well thought out and there is a point however small to each one. We went through a scavenger hunt so that we could get a feel for our little buddy's day. J was thrilled. Let me tell you. We had to paint our hands and make handprints, build blocks with another couple to teach us about teamwork and making friends and it was a bit awkward but now atleast I know another set of parents in the class. J didn't care about the making friends part and followed me around while I did all the work. I'll have to talk to him about that.

On our way out we noticed an invitation in W's cubby hole. Another mom is having a coffee for all of the parent's in his class. She seems like a super mom-she's nice and sweet and outgoing and makes an effort to meet all of the parents of her kid's classmates. I sometimes wish I were that way but like someone told me, I have other strengths. Ha! It has inspired me to push myself to want to get to know the other parents and make a more concerted effort. I'm not promising anything except that I will do my best.

I had big plans to make Halloween cookies for the class but as the date gets closer those plans are slowly falling by the wayside. I have too many other things to accomplish before the baby gets here, like sitting...and sitting...and sitting. I am scared there won't be another time that I can just...well, sit. On that note, I had a dream last night that I had a baby girl. It was quite vivid. She was so tiny and had a mess of white blond ringlets on top of her head. Wierd. Especially when you consider I have board straight hair, my mom and brother have board straight hair. It wouldn't stay curled even if I slept with a curling iron on my head for days. If this dream comes true my mom will be ecstatic. When J and I got engaged one of her first comments was that he will bring curl to the gene pool. We will just have to wait and see.

The verdict is in. 2 ear infections. I feel so bad that I didn't take him to the doctor sooner. I guess I really couldn't have unless it was the Emergency room but I knew something was not right. We were up all night. When I went to check on him around 9pm before I went to bed he was sitting straight up, dead asleep. I guess it was too painful for him to lie down. Then he was in and out of sleep all night as were J and I. I knew he was really sick when he let me bring him into our bed. That's not an option on a regular night but on the few nights that he has been sick and crying, there has only been 2 times that he actually laid down and went to sleep. and one of them was last night. He woke up around1 am and realized he was terribly uncomfortable, as we all were, in our bed and didn't have his own space. So I took him back to his bed where he finally got a little shut eye.

I feel like Tuna Tonight

I never thought that I would say this.

I made a tuna casserole for dinner.

The recipe was in that Martha Stewart's Everyday Food and well, I must be pregnant, ha! because it sounded really appetizing. J didn't even sound disgusted when I told him we were having that for dinner. Frozen veggies cooked in the same pot as noodles with a can of tuna thrown in for good measure was a bachelor staple of his. Blah! He still makes it on occasion when I have a meeting or something. So this was like ambrosia to him.

Now this was a Mediterranean Tuna Casserole which includes artichoke hearts. It was delicious if I do say so myself. I would probably doctor it up a bit if I made it again. You know, add some garlic, maybe some cheese, oh and Aunt Liz said she has fond memories of tuna casserole with peas. I wasn't sure what to expect because I have never had a tuna casserole in my life. Something ole Mimo would NEVER allow. Aunt Liz thought about making it herself once I told her what we were having for dinner but Uncle Bob, like Mimo, wouldn't allow it. Something about a bad experience as a child. I thought about giving some to W for supper but I didn't want to force it on him, and end up with an "Uncle Bob Tuna Casserole Debacle".

I had to sit down to prep everything because of my increasing back pain. Not an easy thing to do, not even with my stellar knife skills (and my knife skills are just that, seriously). But in the end it all turned out well and the BONUS: It made two casseroles. One to freeze for when the new bambino is here.

I'm blogging but I'm really tired. It happens every weekend. J gets up with the LB on Sat. mornings and I get to sleep in and then we swap. and every weekend W sleeps in on Saturdays and gets up way to early on Sundays. You'd think I would learn. I was up at 1am last night to go to the bathroom for the 80th time and never got back to sleep, until about 4am. W woke up at 5:30. I tried to reason with him to no avail. So we got up, made it down the stairs in the dark (it's really dark now at that time) and ate breakfast in the dark. J got up around 8:45 and I went back to sleep until 11am. Crazy, I know. But I'm just so tired. Not all the time. I have my moments. But when those moments come, they are big ones. Anyway, they went swimming-the last day the pool was open-I woke up at 11 and met them for lunch but by that time the LB was exhausted and cranky. I just knew he would nap forever. J was doing handyman stuff outside and W woke up after 45 min. raging hot. So I held him and rocked him for another hour (As sad as I was for him that he didn't feel well, I loved holding him, my little baby) and then he was fine. It was strange. I am praying that he will be better tomorrow. He has been fighting this cold for atleast a week now. He got better, then he got worse.

So bless the LB with a good night's sleep and a fun day tomorrow.

When I look out the window it looks like fall. It doesn't feel like fall but the sky is blue and everything looks so crisp. I know it's just wishful thinking. With fall comes the germs and colds. Of course, the LB hasn't been in school a week and he already has a cold. Luckily, the doctor told me it was okay to send him to school (which is where he got it anyway) so I didn't have to interrupt his new routine, one that we are trying to so hard to make him enjoy. I know, I've become one of those parents that I hate. The kind that sends their kid to school with a runny nose only to infect everyone else but my intentions are truly very unselfish. It's not because I have something else to do since I pick him up almost as soon as I drop him off. It's all because I want him to adjust to school. It's the worst feeling in the world to get him out in the carpool line and have him hang on to me like there's no tomorrow. I guess that does make me selfish, but...

I showed him the slideshow that the program emailed to me last week of their first 2 weeks of school. He enjoyed seeing all his new friends and he didn't even reach for the keyboard once. He was so enthralled with the show. So hopefully that helped him ease into the day today.

I was so upset after dropping him off last week that I was hyperventilating. and J is right. He has to work through it. My baby is growing up and it's our jobs to help him do that in the most productive way. Only 16 more years to go.

In the News: It's always somethin'

"Doctor Links a Man's Illness to a Microwave Popcorn Habit"

This man supposedly likes buttered flavor microwave popcorn so much that he developed a serious lung condition usually only linked to workers in popcorn plants. I mean, what's next? First baby bottles are toxic, now buttered flavor microwave popcorn.

What's going on.

I've started painting again and it's been so much fun. I always have visions in my mind of things I want to paint, lately for the new baby's room and W's but I put if off because I think about the hassle involved-buying more acrylics, canvases, getting the water and brushes ready and the mess of it all-but it's like anything else I do. Once I jump into it and get rolling I have the best time. I had to take a lot of studio classes in college for my major and really do miss it. I will say that it is kind of difficult to paint anything larger than a small canvas if you don't have an easel and your belly is a month away from popping out a person.

The Hobby Shop on Magazine is having a sale on a certain brand of canvases (only smallish ones so I didn't get a deal on my 30x40). I wanted to paint a big ole giraffe for the nursery so I painted a 'dry run' which I will hang in W's room before I move on to the super big one. Today is the day. I've painted the background and am waiting for it to dry. I'm still not sure how I'm going to keep W away from it until I can paint my giraffe.

The LB and J are off swimming. I think this may be one of the last weekends before the pool closes. I feel bad for not taking him more often myself, but I haven't been brave enough to stuff myself into a bathing suit and it's too hot to sit out there without getting in. I want him to be ready for pool time next summer because I WILL be skinny and hot and ready to spend long days at the pool. So I'm encouraging father and son to take lessons this fall at Love Swimming.

Wish I would have invented Jibbitz

I watched a DVR of Oprah on Thursday evening and oh my gosh. It was a show on Big Ideas and it blew my mind away. This lady and her kids came up with the idea of Jibbitz, which are little doodads that you decorate your Crocs with. Amazing. Eventually the Croc company bought them out for $20 million.

I know I'm destined for something big. I feel it. It's going to happen after I have this baby and I have time to do something big, but it's coming. I promise. If it's anything as big as this Jibbitz idea-we've got it made. Now, the couple that started the Jibbitz, like I said, sold out to Crocs but they are still running the company. When something "big" comes my way and if I decide to sell out, I'm not hanging around to run the thing. I'm running with my money like there's no tomorrow.

If you need a little inspiration in your life, read their story.

I don't think you ever forget the misery of the last trimester of pregnancy but I think you forget what the misery feels like. I am now reminded. Nothing fits. I'm uncomfortable standing up. I'm uncomfortable sitting down. I'm uncomfortable sleeping. and now I have such apathy towards everything. I'm kind of depressed. I cried this morning. For no reason at all. Well, I cried because nothing fits, I'm uncomfortable standing up....you get the picture.

But then as I think about this afternoon when the Little Buddy and J were chasing each other around the house I realized that I didn't have the laughter the first time around. Today, I was sitting in the kitchen doing the crossword puzzle and my background music was a stream of deep belly laughing from W as J would catch him in a game of chase or startle him as he ran into the sunporch and the whole game would start over again. It's a nice, sweet, joyful break from the monotony of pregnancy.

In the News: Stress and Anxiety

I came across this article in the New York Times online about Anxiety Disorders. I shouldn't have read it. You think I'm anxious now....

It mentions how mother's who have just given birth are particularly at risk for OCD. Can I get any worse? I promised myself that I wouldn't do any of my OCD habits while I was pregnant. I broke that promise and now I'm super worried wondering can it get any worse?

It's an interesting article, though. Especially as it relates to children. I hope W doesn't have any of these issues but "One study reported a higher rate of crying and an impaired ability to adapt to new situations in infants of mothers who had been stressed and anxious during pregnancy." if my worry during this pregnancy is any indication like the article says, the new baby doesn't stand a chance.

In the News: Are Plastic Bottles Toxic?

One more thing to worry about. The use of plastic bottles and the toxic chemicals in them. I got an email through the email grapevine a few weeks ago but shrugged it off because I had already brought this issue to the attention of my pediatrician who said it was news to him.

and you never know about those forwarded emails. They're a dime a dozen, a friend of a friend story.

Then I read about the harmful effects of plastic bottles in Parenting Magazine. It's linked with Cancer, hyperactivity, impaired immune function to name a few problems. I'm not sure what to do. The LB still drinks a bottle of milk when he wakes up and after dinner. I know I'm not supposed to let him have a bottle but I do. Too many kids I know stopped drinking milk once the precious bottle was banned and since I'm dealing with a picky eater, I'm just glad he's getting his milk. So what do I do? Take away the bottles? Right before the new baby arrives who will eventually be drinking from a bottle, which will inevitably make him mad? or buy him new bottles for these last few months that he's drinking from them? Like I said, One more thing to worry about.

Oh hello. It's W. Yeah. Whas up? Not much is going on around here. Just riding my tricycle.






Hold on. Mom wants to tell me something.







Okay. Sorry about that. I'm back.

Okay. My countdown has started. Really, it started months ago. I remember when I had 100 days left of pregnancy so now there really is a light at the end of the tunnel. Until I went to the doctor yesterday and he told me he may have to reschedule my c-section date to a day later. To those who aren't pregnant, a day may seem like nothing. And if you are one of those people I dare you to tell me, "Oh, that's nothing" I can't promise that I won't hurt you. and I know it's something to do with fishing. I just know it. He didn't come out and say it but I heard it in his voice. But it's probably better that he kept that to himself because if he dared to tell me, "I'll still be fishing" I can't promise that I wouldn't have done something drastic. I'm in complete misery at night. I don't know if it's contractions or what but I have stomach cramps from about 2 on every night which doesn't make for a very good nights sleep.

The LB is still adjusting to school. It's funny how you get a grasp for a toddler's true personality once they start going to school. I always knew he was cautious and sensitive and very sweet. But I guess now that he's in a new environment these aspects of his personality are highlighted and I realize how they affect him in the real world. I know he will adjust sooner or later. and I know it's good for him and it makes me feel so much better to hear that other kids are going through the same thing but still in the back of my mind I am praying that I am not doing permanent psychological damage to my LB. I heard through the grapevine that they will be playing with play dough tomorrow. This should keep him in good spirits.

I don't know where the time is going. These past few weeks have flown by! and for that I am very thankful. I thought for sure the end of this pregnancy would be a slow, miserable one but it actually hasn't been as bad as I predicted. My back hurts, badly, very badly and sleeping really isn't much of an option but I know the latter is prep for the many weeks/months of not sleeping once the baby is here. The Little Buddy being in school a few mornings a week seems to help. It's such a little thing but I feel the difference in my back and my state of mind. I'm not quite as tired and I don't start to waddle around in pain too much until later in the day. I do miss him though. I am curious to see how he fairs after the long holiday weekend. I've learned that he doesn't eat snacks at school which explains his intense hunger for lunch. The teachers are great and said he did better the second day but he still had some rough spots. I wish his friend, C, who he has known since he was a bitty baby, was at the same school to help him laugh his way through his morning.

I can't blame the LB, though. It's in his genes. I hated spending the night out. always. Wanted to be close to home. and I still remember the feeling of angst I had when I didn't have a choice. Going to a friend's house during the day was okay after I got over the initial fear of going. But it was something that I had to push my way through. So, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I guess. I know it's a matter of opinion, but I turned out okay, and so will W.

So much to tell. So little time. I'll be back...soon.