I can breathe easier now. We haven't had internet or cable service since last Thursday and we finally were able to get the cable people to fix it today. I wasn't really aware how dependent I was on those services until they went out. It's been a frustrating few days. I'm lucky that the Little Buddy doesn't live and die for Sesame Street or any other show for that matter although he does enjoy a bit of Elmo's World every now and again.
A lot has been going on in our world in between now and then and the first day of W's school starts tomorrow. I have a low grade anxiousness that is living beneath my skin. I know it won't go away until after I pick him up tomorrow. I passed another kid in his class on our way into orientation. He was really old looking and was on the floor throwing a tantrum because he didn't want to leave. I am worried. My baby is not only my baby but he will be the baby of the class. I can't stand the thought of older or younger kids, for that matter, pushing him around. I can't stand the thought of him falling off the playground equipment or of him dying of thirst because they only offer juice at snack time, which he doesn't drink. I can't stand the thought of someone else comforting him if and when he cries or of me not being around when something tickles him so much that he belly laughs until he can't breathe.
I can't stand the thought of him growing up...my baby...because that's what he's doing.