Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Will he still be my Little Buddy?

I've only been away from W a few times since he was born. Mimo and Papa kept him overnight when he was little and when Aunt Liz and Uncle Bob got married in Chicago we took off for a long weekend and Partied All Night Long for 3 nights. That's it really. For some reason the thought of leaving him now that he's older makes me even sadder. I was thinking about my c-section the other day and found myself in tears. I wasn't crying because of the love for the new baby or the scary anticipation of the spinal tap or anything like that. What made me start crying was thinking about seeing the LB for the first time when J brings him to visit me in the hospital. I miss him so much just thinking about it. What if he's so pissed at me that he won't look at me? What if he doesn't recognize me because I'm swollen from all the drugs that will be pumped into me or because I won't have a big belly anymore? He's my Little Buddy and I'll always think of him that way but will he still want to be my Little Buddy? That is the real question.

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