Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The teachers have told me that W doesn't like to play on the play structure or ride the tricycles and they presented it in a way that led me to believe that they were concerned. So I have spent the past few days in my head trying to defend my baby. I hate to be the defensive mom because I truly appreciate when and if they tell me W is having trouble with something but honestly, it made me feel like something was wrong with my kid. and that's a horrible feeling to have. They were almost relieved to hear that we went to the park a lot and that he slides down the slide and runs and climbs and jumps. Whatever. W is a shy kid, he's not going to be your next Joe Namath (he may be your next Tiger Woods). He has flat feet, steers away from a large chaotic crowd and is generally a focused quiet person. But he LOVES the slide and love to run and play and I kept telling them this. A fellow mother asked if I had told the teachers that I didn't like to spend the night out as a kids. I thought about it but I felt like I was going overboard trying to defend him so I stopped at "I am a shy person."
I got myself worked up into a tizzy last night worrying about it. J was out of town and I kept worrying-is something wrong with him? have I done him an injustice in chalking him up to a reticent kids? in between thoughts, I cried. Will he get into a pre-school? and then I remembered.....In 3rd grade, during both recesses, I pulled up a chair every day next to my 3rd grade teacher and sat next to her all break. I didn't play although at times she encouraged me but I wouldn't budge. I didn't want to play on the playground. I guess it made me feel safe. So there you have it! He is a mini-me!I called my parents to ask them if they were worried about me. They didn't even know that happened.

After this revelation I feel 100% better and am able to go on about my life---of course, waiting for the next thing. Because it's always somethin', ain't it?


Mary Kent said...

As a preschool teacher, i would say do not worry! W is shy and any attempts (which I know you would not do) to "unshy" him would just make him feel shame. I heard Robert Brooks speak the other day (Raising Resilient Children : Fostering Strength, Hope, and Optimism in Your Child by Robert Brooks) and he said that if you have a shy child, just try empathy: "I know how it feels when there is such a big crowd on the playground and if you don't wantto play, I understand, but maybe if you try it you might like it" Anyway, I don't think it matters one bit that he doesn't want to play - it shows that he is an individual. And asking him when he gets home from school - did you playon the playground, etc. is not great either. Sorry for the earful, more than you bargained for I know.

NolaMom said...

Not more than earful. I am grateful for the input. and it makes me feel much better. I do ask him if he played on the structure. I will cut that out immediately. You're right, too much pressure.