We're packing and moving on. I have cried once today already. I don't know, I've lived here for over 10 years-really I grew up here almost and found myself, found my husband, brought my baby home (if only for 5 days before the big K). It's very emotional and I am sure there will be more outbursts. J was going to work today but decided to stay home and help out. I wanted to cry. Then I talked to L and she said she got kind of sad thinking about it because my house reminds her of when C was a baby. They used to just lay on the rug while we chatted and laughed and sometimes complained about our new status as moms. I got off the phone and wanted to cry. Luckily I was at Harry's Hardware looking for "those little thingies that hold the shelves up in the kitchen. Tee hee." I know they thought I was such an idiot girl. If I had broken down and cried, no telling what the manly hardware men would've done. but I found exactly what I was looking for. I feel very accomplished. Just call me HandyMan.
Anyway, I may not be posting until after the weekend. Cable will be hooked up tomorrow (J told me it was the single most important thing I had to do and it wasn't an easy feat, believe me. The pressure didn't help my emotional state any) But I have a feeling the computer won't be connected. So please don't panic or abandon me, fans. I have a post about JOY that I want to share so stay tuned. Now, I'm not saying that I won't be posting because I can from J's computer just want to give you a heads up just in case.
J was out of town last night. It was kind of fitting that I spent one of my last nights here by myself since I moved in here as a single girl. I sat in my big chair, drank some wine and read one of my journals that I am destroying. I laughed so hard. Ironically it was one from when I first moved in here. I wish I could keep it but I would be mortified if I died and anyone read it.
So I feel like we're starting a new chapter. Maybe I'll start a new journal-the kind that anyone can read.